I have spent the last few days trying to decide if I even want to tackle a response to this. There is a few things I want to tackle, so this will be a series of posts.
For those that aren’t in Twitter land, there is apparently group that meets Friday nights under #romfail. The basic gist of the group is that a book review blogger post lines from romance and erotica books that are then mocked and ridiculed.
Okay, now a note. I will not post any links in my discussion. They are easy enough to search (the number of hits I got on just people search is one reason I felt I should say something). While I’m going to use #romfail as a current example, these three posts post is a general topic that can go to any group in any genre at any time. End note.
Now, I won’t say that among friends I have not done the same thing. I think many of use either to ourselves or friends remarked at one point about an atrocious line of writing. It happens, it’s fun, and it makes you feel better after you’ve done it. And as a group of friends or acquaintances or whatever they want to call themselves, #romfail have the right to say those things on their mind.
Hang on! I see some of you already fuming and others smiling cause they think I’m on #romfail’s side. Read the first half again carefully. See how I’m making a remark about a personal relationship? Here is the first thing everyone who wants or does write must know:
Personal relationships and professional relationship should not and cannot be interchangeable.
I, too, write book reviews. I know a number of writers in a personal level. When the two come together, I have the hardest time writing a review. I want my reviews to be unbiased and tell readers how I learned from the good and/or bad of a book. I want them to be professional. Not as in, I want them to help launch a career as a reviewer, but that there is an air of authentic criticism to them. I do that because my reviews are open to the public. I have to present myself as a professional. If I have something I don’t like that I think would skew the professional outlook of my reviews, I save that for when I’m talking to friends and it is away from the eyes of the public. Why?
Respect. I only have a short story published so far. I’m the new guy on the block. The people who have written books have accomplished something I haven’t, so far. Therefore, they deserve credit and respect for that accomplishment. Sure I have a M.A. in Writing and I have the knowledge and learning of the language. But that doesn’t change the fact that knowing and doing are two completely different things. Knowing what a great book is can only start you on the path to writing one.
From what I understand, there are a number of aspiring writers in #romfail. They openly make the remarks about the writing out into the public that are personal opinions covered in snark in hopes to be funny. This is not what criticism is. That’s just personal conversation. And that is something I don’t think many on the #romfail side see. If you are just chatting with friends on Twitter, it’s one thing. If you insist that it somehow relates to true literary criticism, something that people will learn something, then you are making a world of hurt for yourself in the professional stratum of your life as a writer. Doing so openly on Twitter just makes it easier for potential colleagues, editors, and publishers to view them as your professional manner and viewpoint, they will make note of that and have a biased judgment when your manuscript comes around.
You don’t think they will? Ok, what about the fact that employers and businesses regularly try to look at potential and existing employees Facebook and Myspace pages to see if there is anything objectionable to them on it that might cause a problem for the business? It is the same thing. In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if Twitter is added to that list soon. What people don’t seem to realize is that doing anything on any social networking site is the same as doing it in an open area in public. Now on all of them, you can lock your account so you choose who can see these things if you wish, but if you don’t, you have to think about the consequences of your actions. Would the #romfail ladies be as secure to openly criticize these books the same way if they were in, say, a hallway at the next RWA Conference?
We are extremely lucky to live in the world we do to day. We can communicate with anyone, anywhere, anytime, in nearly real-time. But I think that so much access has blurred the line between the professional and the personal. We can’t just do what we want when we want to. That’s anarchy and it is self-destruction in the end.
We have common sense, reasoning, and willpower for a purpose. Yet more and more, we seem to use them less and less.
Excellent.
Thank you A. M.
Yeah. It is the professionalism that gets me. Sock monkeys some of created do not hide the fact of who participates.
There is also the general fallacy being spread around that there is a group of us, who sit around reading romfail so we can feel superior. Given that many romfailians announce what they are doing makes it very easy to figure out who participates.
My brain hurts
Well said, well written. Bravo!
I think you will like the next two parts that I’ll write for tomorrow and Wednesday. One on Vitriole and the other my dubbed “Stupidity Quotient” (which I’m saving for last just so I can come up with a better name).
I hope by the end, I will have helped the brain hurting. The whole situation didn’t need to happen and I hope that I can do my part that it happens less in the future.
I’m really happy you liked it
Well said, good sir. Like you, I have one publishing credit to my name, the first of many I hope. Now, one of the things I had to decide is if this was merely a hobby or something I wanted to do as a living (or at least make that attempt). It was a no brainer of course, I wanted to be a pro. I made some changes almost immediately. 1: I started going by my real name and not a handle. 2: I ditched my old blog which was full of snark and condescension, though it seemed important at the time. 3: I try to stay out of flame wars on the boards and elsewhere if possible. To be treated like a pro you have to act like a pro. These are things the romfail group will never understand until no one wants to publish them, precisely because of what they find by using google.
And trust me, editors and publishers DO google you. A friend and I will be starting our own small press soon, and that was one of the first things we agreed on. Anyone acting or posting unprofessional crap will not be read. Period. If they act that way on twitter or facebook, chances are good they’ll be difficult to work with.
Looking forward to your next posts!
Scott Colbert (put here because it won’t let me change the name.)
Great Points Scott, I will even admit that I’m not perfect yet, but I try and I listen to people when they talk to me about how I compose myself in a professional manner. If I make a mistake I own up to it and try to earn the respect back from who ever it is I slighted. And that’s what I think causes these flame wars, the group the feels it’s being attacked has those within that aren’t listening to what people trying to understand them are asking?
Thank you for your comment and I hope you enjoy the next posts
I completely agree with the professional aspect. Sure, I banter, post crazy crap, don’t care who reads it, and all in the public eye. But I try not to be malicious toward anyone else, no matter how much room they have to grow.
My thing is, if you can’t say anything nice, you probably aren’t a very respectable person. Disrespectful people, people who can’t take responsibility for their own actions, and people who outright brutalize and demean the hard work of others get my dander up. I try to keep my mouth shut because frankly, there are some people who won’t listen no matter what is said. I have family like that… in fact my entire family is like that. For my own sanity, I deal with them as little as possible. The same can be said in this case.
People are going to be slanderous. It’s a natural thing. It’s how you focus that energy that is key. Within your own home is one thing, at the playground or grocery store, a completely different story.
Negativity breeds negativity, and every time I read about this crap I want to crawl in a hole somewhere and pretend the human race is not slowly evolving past humanity and reverting back to base animalism.
I’m not ready to give up on society as a whole just yet. My thanks go out to those who prove that humanity does still exist.
And for those out there who want to go off on my opinion…
This isn’t high school. It’s real life, and real business. Grow up already!
All too true Ms. Heather,
Disrespect seems to be the name of the game for more new and aspiring writers in all genres as the years go by, and I wish I understood why? Because, you know they have their absolute favorite authors that if anyone tried what they were doing, they would have a conniption. And when the dust settles after all of this has plaid its course, people like the #romfail ladies will soon see what to them is just joyful snark is really a flaw in their hopes to be taken as serious professionals. People get fired everyday from all kinds of professions for what they do, why would writing be any different.
I really enjoyed your response, thank you for being so honest on here.
“And trust me, editors and publishers DO google you”
Oh yes, we do indeed.
Back when I was with Lachesis, if I liked the look of an MS I immediately googled the author to see what kind of face they were putting out there.
I did some silly snark in the past, but I won’t play those games anymore. I had to take a long hard look at what was important and what wasn’t. Writing is important, editing is important, community is important. My ego is not.
I may joke about sparkly vampires, though. ;=P LOL
Thank you Louise,
I hpe everyone that comes by the post reads your response so they don’t think that I’m just making stuff up to be mean to #romfail. Every action a person takes has a consequence, even snarky comment in jest with friends. But so many people don’t think about that anymore, they think they will find someone to get them off and never take responsibility for their actions. As I said to Scott, I know I’m not perfect yet and I make mistakes, but I own up to them and try to do my part to fix the mess i created and to earn the respect back.
As for the sparkly vampires, I think we can all joke about that, lol
Thank you for your comments, especially coming from an editor
A lot of the problem stems from the lack of a conscience. Or the choice to not use ones conscience. The choice to do what’s right seems to be an unpopular choice. It’s easier to just go along with the crowd, than to do the right thing. It’s easier to be one of the mean girls because it’s popular, not because it’s right. It’s sad since we try to teach our kids right from wrong. So be mean ladies, karma will take care of you in the end.
It it the right is unpopular, or is it that there is now such a social acceptance of “what’s best for me is all that matters” influencing our decisions? I think there was a time where mean was mean, but now, it wouldn’t matter if you are mean are not, it’s what the advantage you have over others by being a certain way.
I don’t want to go too far into it, but I will let you now that this is part of what I will talk about in the final post.
Thank you, Miss Kitty, you always have a great viewpoint on all matters
Amen, Will.
That’s very well said. It’s so easy to get snarky on the net and divorce yourself from it. Nowadays, I step back before I react. Ask myself: “Do I really need to post / say that?” and, more importantly, “Would I say that to their face?” If the answer is a double no, I walk away. lol
Exactly. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Cause and effect. I always try to think about that before I even blurt a twitter. hahahahaha
Take care!~ Great post! And most welcome.~
Louise
Like Louise, I too googled authors that looked promising. I still do, when it comes to TNBP. And I was also caught up in some serious snark. It was appropriate at the time – Scott, Louise and I among others being targeted for imagined slights defended ourselves. Eventually everything starts to look like what it is.
Misbehavior.
It’s not a huge step from misbehavior to being no better than those we snarked on.
You’re right Jodi. I think that is the negativity that is inherently in snark that makes it so easy for it to just grow and grow, especially in something like a flame war. And I can see where #romfail can be snarky in the defense of themselves, just as you were caught up in defense. It’s always, though, the questions of how far and the nature of the snark that make it either a one time, acceptable, instance, and a way of conducting yourself in public when you are should be trying to be professional. It is a very small step in my mind, one that you might even see if you aren’t paying attention to the path you tread upon.
Thanks for your comment
Excellent perspective.
Thanks Kate! I keep bumping up on this topic of professionalism where I am these, so I hope that the word gets out and other people write about it too. I think we are able to be professional in everything we do, it just people think it is only comes into play with their work, and anyone else’s they have more room to get away with the wrong behavior.